#枕边书#《Tuesdays With Morrie 相约星期二》面对死亡,我们准备好了吗?!

来自:龍婆活著 0 0 2016-04-01

3.11日本大地震,大海啸。看了,震惊。


吐了,只因身体无法承受那些镜头。

 

面对大自然,再次证明,人类是如此地渺小和不堪一击。

 

灾难,死亡,又一次提醒了人类些什么?

 

人类的起点是出生,而终点是死亡。这是一个无可逃避的自然规律。

 

面对死亡,我们准备好了吗?!


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最近,从图书馆里借了三本书。一本是近期被改编成电影,由好莱坞女星茱莉亚罗伯茨主演的同名小说《EAT,PRAY,LOVE》;一本是2004年已被改编成电影的同名小说《TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE》;还有一本也是由作者Mitch Albom写的《THE FIVE PEOPLE YOU MEET IN HEAVEN》。

 

有些书,拿起就想打瞌睡。有些书,读起就不愿放下,读了还想再读。人生的不同阶段,有着不同的需求,并寻找着不同的答案。我想,《TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE》书中的内容,正是我现阶段所思考得最多的问题,和正在寻找的答案。

 

1, about the world 关于寰球

2, about the feeling sorry for yourself 关于自怜

3, about regrets 关于遗憾

4, about death 关于死亡

5, about family 关于家庭

6, about emotions 关于情感

7, about the fear of aging 关于衰老的恐惧

8, about money 关于金钱

9, about how love goes on 关于如何被铭记

10, about marriage 关于婚姻

11, about our culture 关于我们的文化

12, about forgiveness 关于宽容

13, about the perfect day 关于完美的一日之内

14, about saying good-bye to the one you love 关于和你所爱人说再见


TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE》是美国作家Mitch Albom与其身患肌肉萎缩症的大学教授Morrie Schwartz,在生命结束前的收关14周,每个星期二的探访对话记录。原著出版于1997年,即成為全球暢銷書籍,被翻译成三十一种文字。2004年还被改编成电视电影。

 

关于寰球:

“Maybe death is the great equalizer, the one big thing that can finally make strangers shed a tear for one another.”p51(也许死亡是件伟大的均衡器,是件大事,它终于可使陌生人为彼此流下了眼泪

 

“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.”p52

(人生中最重要的是学会如何付出爱,并让爱进入你的身心)

 

关于自怜:

“I give myself a good cry if I need it. But then I concentrate on all the good things still in my life.”p57(如果需要,我会好好地哭一场。然后我会专注于一切在我的生命中仍就美好的事)

 

“It's horrible to watch my body slowly wilt away to nothing. But it's also wonderful because of all the time I get to say good-bye.”p57(看着我的身体慢慢萎缩成空壳那是最恐怖的事但它同时又是最美丽的事,只因我有时间和所有的人说再见

 

关于遗憾:

“The culture doesn't encourage you to think about such things until you're about to die. We're so wrapped up with egotistical things, career, family, having enough money, meeting the mortgage, getting a new car, fixing the radiator when it breaks - we're involved in trillions of little acts just to keep going. So we don't get into the habit of standing back and looking at our lives and saying, Is this all? Is this all I want? Is something missing? ”p64 (我们的文化并不鼓励你去思考这些事,直到你将要死去。我们与这些自我为中心的私事卷在一起,如,事业,家庭,足够的金钱,还清了贷款,买部新,当散热器坏了维修它- 而我们被这亿万个被卷入的小事督促着前进所以,我们没有养成退后一步,看看我们的生活,说,难道这就是一切?难道这就是我想要的?我错过了什么 )

 

关于死亡:

“Everyone knows they're going to die, but nobody believes it. If we did, we would do things differently.”p81(每个人都知道自己会死,但没人相信。如果我们相信了,我们所做的事就会大不一样

 

“Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.”p82(一旦你学会了如何,你就学会了如何活

 

“We are too involved in materialistic things, and they don't satisfy us. The loving relationships we have, the universe around us, we take these things for granted.”p84(我们太热衷物质上的东西,而它却满足不了我们的欲望。和大自然的给与,我们却把它当成理所当然的事而不以为然)

 

关于家庭:

“It's become quite clear to me as I've been sick. If you don't have the support and love and caring and concern that you get from a family, you don't have much at all. Love is so supremely important. Love each other or perish.”p91(当我生病后,家庭对于我来说变得相当清晰。如果你没有来自家庭的支持和爱,没有来自家庭的照顾和关怀,那你简直就是一无所有爱就是如此重要。选择互爱,还是毁灭

 

关于情感:

“By throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then can you say, All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.”p104 (把自己扔进这些情感中,让自己深情地投入,从头到脚完全地感受。只有这样,你才真正懂得什么是痛,什么是爱,什么悲伤只有到那时你才可以说,好了,我已经历过那种情感。我已懂得那种情感。现在我需要的就是把那种情感脱离一会儿

 

关于衰老的恐惧:

“As you grow, you learn more. If you stayed at twenty-two,you'd always be as ignorant as you were at twenty-two. Aging is not just decay, you know. It's growth. It's more than the negative that you're going to die, it's also the positive that you understand you're going to die, and that you live a better life because of it. ”p118 (当你成长,你就会学到更多。如果您只停留在二十二岁,那你永远就只是个无知的二十二。要知道,衰老并不是衰减,而是增长它并不是消极地去死,而是让你懂得你将要死去,所以你现在应该好好地活着。

 

关于金钱:

“Money is not a substitute for tenderness, and power is not a substitute for tenderness. As I'm sitting here dying, when you most need it, neither money nor power will give you the feeling you're looking for, no matter how much of them you have. ”p125 (金钱不能代替温柔权力也不能代替温柔正如我现在坐在这快死的时候,金钱和权力都不是我需要和寻找的东西,无论你拥有多少金钱和权力,此时都是无用的。

 

关于如何被铭记:

“I don't worry about being forgotten after I died. because I've got so many people who have been involved with me in close, intimate ways. And love is how you stay alive, even after you are gone.”p133 (我并不担心死后会被遗忘因为我曾与许多人亲密接触过,并成为挚友。即使我离开了人世,但我给与人的爱将永远活着。

 

关于婚姻:

“If you don't respect the other person, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don't know how to compromise, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you can't talk openly about what goes on between you ,you're gonna have a lot of trouble. And if you don't have a common set of values in life, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values must be alike. And the biggest one of those values is your belief in the importance of your marriage. ”p149 (如果你不尊重对方你会有很多麻烦如果你不知道如何妥协你会有很多麻烦如果你不能开怀见诚地谈论发生在你们之间的事你会有很多麻烦如果你没有生活中的共同价值观你会有很多麻烦你们的价值观必须是一致的。这些价值观念较大的一个,应该是你们对婚姻重要性的信念。

 

关于我们的文化:

“The little things, I can obey. But the big things - how we think, what we value - those you must choose yourself. You can't let anyone - or any society - determine those for you.”p155 (我可以服从社会上的小制度我们如何思考,什么是我们价值观,这些很重要的事情,我们必须自己选择你不能让任何人,或者任何社会,代替你去选择这些。

 

关于宽容:

“It's not just other people we need to forgive. We also need to forgive ourselves." p166(我们不仅要宽恕别人,同时也需要原谅自己。

 

" Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Don't wait. Not everyone gets the time I'm getting. Not everyone is as lucky.” p167(原谅自己。宽恕别人。不要等待。不是每个人都能得到和我一样多的时间去思考不是每个人都是如此地幸运。


关于完美的一日之内:

“A certain peace with the idea of dying. If we know, in the end, that we can ultimately have that peace with dying, then we can finally do the really hard thing.” p173(关于死需要有些平静的想法如果我们有了这些平静的想法,在死亡来临时,我们可以平静地去面对,最终也就没什么真正困难的事了。)

 

“It's natural to die. The fact that we make such a big hullabaloo over it is all because we don't see ourselves as part of nature. We think because we're human we're something above nature.”p173(死亡其实只是自然规律罢了。人类总是把自己归类为自然以外,认为自己是超自然的东西,所以,对于死亡才会产生那么大的骚动。)

 

“ As long as we can love each other, and remember the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. All the love you created is still there. All the memories are still there. You live on - in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here.”p174(只要我们彼此相爱,并记住的感觉,那么我们死后就并没有真正地消失。所有被我们创建的爱仍留存,所有记忆仍留存,我们仍活在那些被我们感动过的人的心中,就象我们活着时一样。


关于和你所爱人说再见:

“This is how we say good-bye. Love you. Kiss you. Hug you. Holding it there. Okay, then, pulling away.”p185 (这就是我们生死离别时说再见的很好方法:说爱你。亲吻。拥抱。紧握着双手。然后,好了,就这样吧,再见。



以上是我在《TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE》书中摘要的,喜欢的,英文句子。自翻译成中文,诚与大家共勉。

读着此书,让我想起了我那已世的契爷Dr. Chen。

在他的病床边,我得到了许多活着的真谛《乐观,幽默,充满信心地活着 Optimistic Life》。

 

想你了,契爷,希望天堂里一切都好!

 

  

EAT,PRAY,LOVE》中文书名为《一辈子做女孩》

TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE》中文书名为《《相約星期二》

THE FIVE PEOPLE YOU MEET IN HEAVEN》中文书名为《你在天堂里遇见的五个人》

 

PS:洛杉矶处在地震带。几乎每天都有大大小小的地震发生。有些能感觉到两秒的晃动,有些由于震中遥远而无感觉。从温哥华搬来洛杉矶。亲身感觉到的晃动也不下十几次。感受较大的一次晃动,那是2008年7月29日早上11点多,地板倾斜,需扶着墙前行。2000年那次西雅图大地震,我在温哥华也感受到了剧烈的震动。同时也学会了逃生。

 

 


2011年3月12日

写于美国洛杉矶


圖文作者:Cathay龍婆

公眾微信號:龍婆活著

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